Ow ow ow ow ow

They say it’s the closest a man can feel to the pain of child birth. There are many women who have experienced both who say that it is worse. I once spent a night in the hospital because of one and the female nurse caring for me experienced both and told me it was worse.

I can’t say which is worse, since I will only ever experience one, and it’s not the one that gives you a prize to take home when it’s over.

I’m talking about kidney stones.

This isn’t my first go round with a kidney stone. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had, but it is easily into double digits. They are, without a doubt, the most painful things I have ever experienced. Nothing else comes close.

Usually doctors will want to start with controlling the pain, hoping the stone will pass on it’s own. This involves drugs, and I mean real drugs, not the wimpy off-the-shelf drugs found in the local drugstore. Heavy drugs that can only be obtained (legally) with a prescription from your doctor. Narcotics.

When I first started getting kidney stones, the drug of choice prescribed by my doctor was referred to as “the silver bullet.” I don’t remember the name of the drug, but I do remember the method of delivery. Yeah, it wasn’t oral. It was called the silver bullet because it came in a silver wrapper and it was bullet shaped. The shape made for, uh, easier insertion. A little bit of lube didn’t hurt either. And a glove.

Fortunately pain medications have advanced and the drugs generally prescribed nowadays are taken orally.

My current stone hit at 2:30 this morning, so I haven’t been to my doctor yet. I hate going to the doctor and will try anything to avoid it. So far I’ve been able to control the pain using a combination of Advil (ibuprofen) and Tylenol (acetaminophen). My sister is a nurse and has told me that these two drugs are safe to mix and quite effective when used together. But if this stone doesn’t move along quickly, I will have to make an appointment to get the good stuff.

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